Venturing into the Community with a Child with Special Needs

Eric Kastan, MA, LMFT, BCBA

As a clinician and behavior analyst, I will not only highlight ABA theory and techniques, but expand to a larger sense of having a family with an identified member with special needs. One of the biggest issues I run into in my work, especially when doing in-home behavioral work, is integrating the family to a larger community. The community may include organizations that are special needs aware or support group, but I believe the larger community that is harder to breach is the “normal” daily community the family lives in. So many questions arise when dealing with community integration. Whom do I tell about the special needs diagnosis? How and what do I say? What do I do if my child has a rough moment? Do I feel judged by others? 

Unfortunately, all these questions do not have clear cut answers. As a family unit, you need to discuss and come up with plans to answer what/how you feel is appropriate. When dealing with schools, especially with children who mainstream, talking to the teacher (although there may be an IEP already), is really important so they understand your child. As an agency we often provide teachers with a write up about the child we work with so they have an idea on what we are working on and how we are making progress. This helps to smooth the transition to a new teacher and new peers. As a parent you can also do this. Most teachers appreciate the heads up and info that may help them better educate your child. Also this helps provide a resource that you can access and find out information on what peers naturally do well with your child. This can help in facilitating in finding good matches that will work for outside school events. With younger children this may also include doing things first at your house or place of comfort for your child, and getting to know the peer’s parents so you can see if you can discuss the difficulties your child presents with. This is always a hard one to gauge.

With older children, the topic when, or even do you, tell your child about their diagnosis. I am often a fan of letting the child know and giving ways to understand it and discuss it. This helps them to learn how to self-advocate and be proud of whom they are. One of the most cathartic moments I have seen is when one of the children I have worked with told his best friend about his diagnosis and the acceptance he felt was amazing.

Dealing with behaviors in public can be hard. Often parents tell me they feel judged or will abandon the home program techniques. This can have negative effects. This is where a good home program, that uses ABA and other techniques, can help parents and the identified member of the family, with ways to deal with these issues. Simply not going into the community really is not effective. This is hard and my heart goes out to the families who have to deal with these issues. This is where working with professionals, support groups, and using some tailored interventions can make the world of difference.

If you have any topics, behaviors, questions you want me to write about, please email me at [email protected]. And as always, if you feel you and your family need any help at all, please contact FACT, and let us see how we can help.