Self-Awareness and Self-Acceptance in School-Age Students with ASD (Part 1:2)

by Sarita Freedman, PhD; FACT Board Member

We all have individual differences regardless of whether we have a disability or not. We’re great at some things, good at others, and struggle with different aspects of our physical, emotional and social functioning. Yet, limitations in self-awareness can make it difficult to understand and accept our many strengths and weaknesses. We feel confusion over why something works out well and other situations fall apart. We may not be able to appreciate how we affect the events in our lives, nor how to make things better. These limitations can stunt our desire and capacity for personal growth. The first step toward any kind of real change is noticing a problem exists within ourself. In doing so we open the door to understanding and the willingness to work toward self-improvement. Without awareness and acceptance, individuals will likely resist addressing their challenges, and may not appreciate how their personal strengths positively affect their lives.

School-aged students with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) often struggle with self-awareness and self-acceptance. Their different thinking patterns and brain processing functions – especially in the area of social thinking/social actions – compromise their ability to understand their own nature and make positive social connections with others. Their interactions are often more negative and/or stressful than positive and fulfilling, which deflates their interest in pursuing self-growth and change. In reality, who among us, with a disability or not, would get excited about social interaction if the majority of our encounters were negative?

Being able to understand (factually and emotionally) and accept one’s learning differences is the first step in accepting assistance from others – something most students with ASD will need (albeit in varying degrees) throughout their educational careers. Furthermore, students who understand the kind of supports they receive, and why, become strong advocates for themselves in their adult lives. People who understand what helps them succeed, usually do. An appreciation for one’s strengths and weaknesses can also thwart self-destructive labels such as “lazy”, “unmotivated”, or “loser,” from taking hold in a student. An easy way to demonstrate this is to imagine you’ve been feeling sick for a while yet no one can figure out what, if anything, is wrong. Eventually you wonder if you’re “imagining” it, and watching all of those doctors shaking their heads at you can make you feel as if you’re “crazy.” When they finally figure it out, you feel a sense of relief. Even though you don’t want to have an illness, knowing what it is and how to take care of it eliminates all the “unknowns” swirling around in your head (the stress of which, incidentally, can make you sicker) and lets you get on with finding ways to get better. 

Tune in next month for Roadblocks to Self-Awareness and Self Acceptance

BIO

Sarita Freedman, PhD is a licensed psychologist with over 30 years’ experience working with children, adults and families. She is the author of Developing College Skills in Students with Autism & Asperger’s Syndrome (Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2010). 

This article was first published in the Autism Asperger’s Digest, May-June 2010 issue.