Experimental Autism Intervention’s “Success” – One Man Shares How it Ruined his Marriage

By Linda Andron, Executive Director

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you. Everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.” – E. E. Cummings

When I read this, I wondered whether this might be said by someone on the autism spectrum. What does it mean to be yourself? How does that resonate for those we work with and love to help them have the best quality of life while staying true to their essential self.

And then serendipitously, I read an article in the New York Times which really gave me pause. Looking to give people the best life possible, it is the ability to read and understand emotions that we believe is central. If someone can read others emotions, then we believe that emotional intelligence will follow. This in our fantasy of a perfect solution that will allow for  acceptance and happiness. We write curricula, develop strategies, and conduct social skills groups in this hope. And of course hope for a magic pill or wand to make this all happen.

This is what John Elder Robison thought when he agreed to participate in a study of transcranial magnetic stimulation at Harvard Medical School. He opens his piece in the New York Times by asking the question, “What happens to your relationships when you’re emotional perception changes overnight? Because I’m artistic I’ve always been oblivious to unspoken cues from other people. My wife, my son, and my friends liked my unflappable demeanor and my predictable behavior. They told me I was great the way I was, but I never really agreed.”

He goes on to caution us about being careful about what you wish for, adding that the intervention succeeded beyond anything that he could have hoped for and at the same time turned his life upside down and cost him his marriage.

I highly encourage you to read the whole article.

I believe that similar to the message from those involved in the Neurodiversity movement, Robinson is teaching us a critically important lesson about allowing people to be who they are. His closing words are powerful. “For much of my life I’d imagined I was handicapped by emotional blindness. When that changed, seeing other people s emotions was overwhelming. Becoming ‘typical’ proved to be the thing that was truly crippling for me. Now I realize that my differences make me who I am- success and failure alike.” I’d call that hard won wisdom.

It is my pleasure to share his wisdom with you.

To read more about Robinson, click here.