How can someone help an autistic person cope with change?

Zoey Giesberg, FACT Intern & Future MSW

One of the common features of people on the autistic spectrum is a strict adherence to routine. There is a pattern to the day and to activities and all is well when following it. Throw in a wench by changing something up and suddenly life starts to crumble apart and there will be chaos. I wouldn’t say change isn’t welcome, but it’s confusing and stressful in a way most people would experience it.

I don’t like change. I get uncomfortable when life hands me drastically different cards that I have to adjust to. And that’s not uncommon in people, especially those who are autistic. No one likes having their carefully organized and planned lives interrupted.

Unfortunately, change is inevitable. And I have to deal with two major changes this year.

The first is highly personal. My grandfather passed away in early January and it’s rocked my world. Even though I knew it was coming, nothing ever prepares you for a family member’s death. And in my grandfather’s case, losing him meant losing a huge influential figure of my life. He was a constant presence in my life, showing me the power of unconditional love and support even in the toughest of situations. He also taught me the importance of helping others and standing up for justice, the cornerstones of what I hope to do with my career. I don’t know who I’d be without him and that kind of presence will never be replicated.

The second comes with my final year of graduate school. I’ll be graduating in May and for the first time in four years will find myself out of a safe school setting and into the real world. I’ll have to look for steady work and figure out how to make a living without falling back on my family for support. The last time I did this, it was 2009 to 2011 and the economy was in a funk and I couldn’t find any paid work for over a month. It was easy the worst years of my life and I really don’t want to revisit that period.

My grandfather and education were constants in my life and now I’ll have to learn how to live without either of them as mainstays. It’s put me in a histrionic funk for the last month and I know I’ll be stressed about the end of my graduate education until the graduation ceremony in May. It’s put me in a conundrum of what do I do without them and it frightens me that the future is uncertain.

So far I’ve tried to keep busy to deal with it. I have my internship at FACT. I still have schoolwork for my last semester. I still keep up with my blog. These things help but the fear is still there about how uncertain things will be. There are no guarantees left except that things will and have to change and I have to cope with it.

How can someone help an autistic person cope with change? Unequivocally support them and emphasize things will be fine. Encourage them that change doesn’t mean the end of the world as they know it. Assist them in getting used to whatever new thing they must adjust to. It won’t be easy but easing the transition does help. And change isn’t necessarily a bad thing.