Autism: Laughing With vs. Laugh At

Linda Andron-Ostrow, Executive Director

Art Linkletter reminds us that kids say the darndest things and we often find these very funny. While the general public finds this humorous and lighthearted, sometimes the kids many not understand the humor or the intentions of the general public. And as a result, sometimes when the kids are met with laughter, they may feel that the public is laughing at them, not with them.

So how do we make sure we are laughing with kids and not at them? It is important to look for the moments of true humor in children, particularly when the child is making an effort to be funny or silly. This is especially important to make note of with children with autism, who are by diagnostic criteria, not supposed to be able to do this.

Did you know I wrote a book about this? Our Journey Through explores humor and celebrates unexpected moments while navigating the reader through real experiences of individuals with autism.

As summer is upon us, here’s an excerpt of the book:  

As part of a leadership program one summer, young adults and staff went on kayaking trip.

I paddled with Cory, a young man who is tall in stature and solid in build. I assumed this would make the paddling quite easy for me (I was sitting in the front and he was in the back). It was exhausting. When I realize how hard I was working I turned around and discovered that he was not paddling at all! I tried to motivate him to work harder, reminding him of the positive reviews he had gotten from his internship earlier that week. The owner of the company who told me how hard-core he worked, how he was always on time and how he took his job very seriously. I asked him why he was letting me do all the work now Linda he said, “I work very hard at my desk on my computer, but I do not do any manual labor”. We both laughed, realizing the humor in the truth of the statement.

it could be said that humor is based on putting the things in life that are out of order into a sense of order. Those who are on the spectrum have a somewhat different view of the world than many others do, but the ability to see the incongruities and laugh about them can be universal.

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